Most people with sense would either go out on a Saturday to have fun or do something useful in building the class struggle. Oh no not me. I stayed in watched the new ITV action-adventure drama Primeval (I wonder if it will be a crime against the revolution?). The words “action” and “adventure” shouldn’t be used in the same sentence as Primeval ‘cos it was neither.
Nevertheless, Primeval begged, borrowed and stole storylines from other more superior sci-fi and action-adventure. I wonder if the writer indulged in a Spock like mind meld to cut and paste these stories together? Anyway, it consists of 6 characters with the leader of this Scooby gang being one archaeology lecturer, Dr Nick Cutter (Douglas Henshall who is usually such a good actor as I have seen him on telly, film and the theatre…Oh why, Douglas?) where a backstory lurks about his wife who disappeared years ago.
His assistant is a leather clad young slick bloke who looks like he has wandered in off the set of Hollyoaks, clever lizard woman who works with reptiles (no jokes…), Home Office wonks x 2, weird student. I didn’t take too much attention regarding names. The storyline revolved around the Forest of Dean and strange goings on or should that be the Jurassic of Dean and hybrid dinosaurs. The dinosaurs come from this trippy time portal where Dr Nick and Gulf war veteran soldier go through (straight out of bloody Stargate that storyline…) and have look around. The bad hybrid dinosaur that looked like a cross between a walrus and a dog with fangs is hanging out in the town causing mayhem and it up to our Scooby gang to track it down.
The script is leaden, stilted and lumpy with no flow. The acting was atrocious and the characters are annoying (waving their torches around in that annoying X-Files way) and frankly I was hoping they would fall through the time portal and never grace the screen again. The humour was well, humourless (Hollyoaks lookalike says to dinosaur: "Pick on someone your own size...")
Obviously cash was not thrown at the special effects as it was all rubbery dinosaurs (probably free from a box of cereal and increased in size) and some CGI. You never really got to understand why this portal was there or who had been experimenting on the dinosaurs. Or do I care?
Obviously you will need to watch the whole 6 episodes for some kind of therapeutic closure . Put it like this, Torchwood rocked compared to this. I missed Shrek for this......