Saturday, February 10, 2007

Primeval: Don't go there.....

Most people with sense would either go out on a Saturday to have fun or do something useful in building the class struggle. Oh no not me. I stayed in watched the new ITV action-adventure drama Primeval (I wonder if it will be a crime against the revolution?). The words “action” and “adventure” shouldn’t be used in the same sentence as Primeval ‘cos it was neither.

Nevertheless, Primeval begged, borrowed and stole storylines from other more superior sci-fi and action-adventure. I wonder if the writer indulged in a Spock like mind meld to cut and paste these stories together? Anyway, it consists of 6 characters with the leader of this Scooby gang being one archaeology lecturer, Dr Nick Cutter (Douglas Henshall who is usually such a good actor as I have seen him on telly, film and the theatre…Oh why, Douglas?) where a backstory lurks about his wife who disappeared years ago.

His assistant is a leather clad young slick bloke who looks like he has wandered in off the set of Hollyoaks, clever lizard woman who works with reptiles (no jokes…), Home Office wonks x 2, weird student. I didn’t take too much attention regarding names. The storyline revolved around the Forest of Dean and strange goings on or should that be the Jurassic of Dean and hybrid dinosaurs. The dinosaurs come from this trippy time portal where Dr Nick and Gulf war veteran soldier go through (straight out of bloody Stargate that storyline…) and have look around. The bad hybrid dinosaur that looked like a cross between a walrus and a dog with fangs is hanging out in the town causing mayhem and it up to our Scooby gang to track it down.

The script is leaden, stilted and lumpy with no flow. The acting was atrocious and the characters are annoying (waving their torches around in that annoying X-Files way) and frankly I was hoping they would fall through the time portal and never grace the screen again. The humour was well, humourless (Hollyoaks lookalike says to dinosaur: "Pick on someone your own size...")

Obviously cash was not thrown at the special effects as it was all rubbery dinosaurs (probably free from a box of cereal and increased in size) and some CGI. You never really got to understand why this portal was there or who had been experimenting on the dinosaurs. Or do I care?

Obviously you will need to watch the whole 6 episodes for some kind of therapeutic closure . Put it like this, Torchwood rocked compared to this. I missed Shrek for this......

17 comments:

The Sentinel said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

How apt a dinosaur should show up in this post's comment box!

AN said...

Sadly Phil I have deleted our Jurasic chum's comment, so your comment doesn't make any sense now!

Anonymous said...

why was an archeologist in an office filled with dinosaur bones?
Surely someone, some where at ITV knows the difference between an archeologist and a PALAEONTOLOGIST?
or do they think so little of us that they think that none of us will notice?

Louisefeminista said...

Well Darren, you are spot-on!

Yes, why the hell was there all those dino bones? Indeed the whole episode of Primeval was an insult to our intelligence and the agony of knowing there were other pointless exercises worth engaging in like watching paint dry.......
They do think very little of us and their aspirations are very low brow.

I can't wait for the workers' control of the media.........

The Sentinel said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Torchwood did indeed rock. Primeval was tolerable viewed (as I did) as essentially a kid's show. I was totally unable to like any of the characters and will need to see more to be fully convinced. For what it's worth, my 7 yr old son loved it.

Shame you keep removing The Sentinel's posts, I could've done with a laugh.

AN said...

Yeah Dawn,

I dunno if deletng them is the right thing to do or not. I am not that worrried about what he says about me,it makes me sound quite good!

BUt some of the abuse agianst my ex-wife is unacceptable,

And the real problem is that I fear it may create a rancid atmosphere, and prevent other people posting comments, or reading the blog.

I am suprised yu liked Torchwood so much - I enjoyed the episods with the faeries, and the canibals, but otherise thought it very slow paced.

All of these progs are too scary for my year old boy, who has too much imagination!

Louisefeminista said...

Well, compared to Primeval, Dawn, Torchwood indeed rocked....

And those rubbery dinosaurs and that hydid one which looked dog like (the scary one they were chasing). I mean, they only needed to have a chucked it a hybrid bonio and it would have their friend forever but nooooo they run it over with their truck.

Anonymous said...

Point taken about the posts, if they're that bad you're wise to remove them.

At last, someone else who liked the Torchwood cannibals episode. That one was my particular favorite. However, whilst I agree it was far from fault free, I did thoroughly enjoy the whole series and liked all the characters except Owen (although even HE was good in the cannibal one) and can't quite understand why you should be surprised at this.

I agree that a year old may be too young for some of these things (although both of mine have watched Doctor Who from age 1). My 5 year old likes to keep up with his brother so happily watches Doctor Who, Primeval and Torchwood with no problems (although he is the imaginative one of the pair). I had better also add here that there are certain episodes of Torchwood that neither of them are allowed to see UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

Louisefeminista said...

Dawn: The Cannibal episode was kinda like Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets The Wicker Man but with laughs thrown in. Yeah, that was one of my favourites as well and didn't Owen say something like: "This could only happen in the country"....!

AN said...

The Militant used to have their summer camp in the Forest - I wonder if the SP still do?

As i was in Bristol SWP we used to be responsile for our "intervention". My god what a hostile repsonse we used to get - with tents being let down in the nighht, people shitting outside the SWP tents, etc.

the funnist reocllection I have was during the 1990 world cup, where they had a 5 a side competition where each team was a country, and the team being cameroon actually blacked up !!!!

Anyway, any time travelling in the Forest should certainly have visited the millies summer camp!

Another interesting thing about the Forest is that the IS has a factory branch there during the ealry 1970s. I cannot remember exactly where, but it shows that the current obsession of the left with the big metroploitan centres has not always been the case. (I remember John Rees dismissing objections to the laucnh of Respect from Swindon, Lowestoft and Scarboriough SWP as "cheers from the cheap seats"!!!)

Louisefeminista said...

I think just before my time there were LPYS youth camps and from comrades I knew who went it was murder......

What was the purpose of the intervention?

Yeah, I wonder if they still have summer camps in the SP in the Forest of Dean but it seems to have that 80s/early 90s feel about (travel back in time in a tardis and listen to some of the sing-a-longs. I do remember Milies sing-a-longs)

The 4th International had summer camps but abroad (thankfully!! weather was nicer and had that ...international feel).

The only annoying exeriences (none so horrible as yours, I have to say!) I had was people tripping over the guy ropes and landing on your tent, heavy rain destroying your tent, people pucking up outside your tent and people having loud drunken discussions about combined and uneven development at 2am outside your tent.

But I have fond memories.............

AN said...

What was the purpose of the intervention?

I dunno really, I think we were cocky that we were more theoreticallly sophisticated than the Millies, so might impress a few and pick up memers - other than that i think there was an unacknowledged real agenda of just annoying them!

In 1986 we issued an open letter to them calling for merger of the SWP and Militant - which we claimed could only happen outsdie the Labour Party. I don't think this was really done in good faith, but it would have been intersting if Grant and Taafe had accepeted the offer!

AN said...

I do remember Milies sing-a-longs):

We are the RSL, RSl, RSL
But ted grant says we mustn't tell, mustn't tell
we are the RSl, RSL

Not as good as:

IS boot boys here are we
have you ever heard of the IMG
I say no, I don't think so
but I've heard of the IS agro

(note for yonger readeers, agro was 70s slang for villence)

Louisefeminista said...

AN: You make out the 1970s was a century ago...

There were some rather cheeky songs having a go at the Milies but I really can't remember them (and I will be accused of being sectarian.. but they were funny)

but I do remember the Milies chanting or should that be cheerleading?

L-P-L-P-Y
L-P-Y-S
Oh Yes!

Though to annoy them we would chant:

Y-C-Y-C-N
Y-C-N-D
Tee Hee

Juvenile but fun...

Blimey a fusion between the SWP and the Milies. Now that would have changed the politics of the revo left.

AN said...

Well to be fair Louise, many of today's activist on the left were not born when I first joined the SWP. (and it does annoy me soometimes when young SWP memers tell me I don't understand the party's politics - for that very reason)

Put it in perspective, the formation of the SWP out of the IS was 30 years ago. But the Soviet invasion of Hungary and the birth of the new left was only 21 years before that! When I was a young lad new to politics even events that happned 4 or 5 years earlier seemed like ancient history, and the 1950s were pre-history.

ut the events of the 1950s were in pesoective only the same as us doiscussing the 1980s now.

Scary stuff